Honoring the Weariness

by Rodney Dean

Summer has moved beyond middle age. This season of special outdoor experiences matures just like we do. Yet this summer is aging differently. There is a weariness that is part of this summer, this season, this pandemic. Freedom from the normal schedules looks different too. What is freedom now? What is normal now? These questions keep arising…over and over.

A simple invitation to gather in community is so complicated…weariness where there was once ease and joy and belonging. A certain rhythm we might find soothing and comforting, feels distant, like a memory. It is difficult to accept so we keep trying even though it is not the same. Accepting this makes one weary with every invitation to gather we decline.

Technology might be like the ventilator, allowing us some kind of aid to breathe together in a virtual way, trying to be with the living in a new way and a familiar way…for as long as we need to do it this way. Yet this makes me weary too.

So yesterday and today the weariness asked to be prioritized. Moving slower and resting more, letting go and asking what is next. The sensation of floating on some directionless cloud, meandering about the sky as every shift in the wind provides a new direction because of the wind; not my will be done.

The morning stillness is special. The stifling heat has been defunded for now. A bluebird rests on a branch within view. The cicadas buzz in the background. Summer clouds form and the humidity begins to creep up. There must be a good reason to rest in all of this right now. Schedules will kick in soon enough so for now, maybe this is the invitation…to merely breathe slowly and deeply, honoring the weariness…no doing, just being…weary.