Listen Like a Lake

By Linda Mastro

In The Book of Awakening: Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have, Mark Nepo refers to an old friend as someone “who always listens like a lake.”

Intrigued by this metaphor I asked a fellow spiritual director what she thought it means to listen like a lake. She replied, “It depends on how deep the lake is.”

My colleague’s response took me below the surface of Nepo’s metaphor. I wondered, What other qualities, besides depth, might affect how a lake – and a person – listens? 

The shoreline of a lake – rocky, sandy, grass-covered – can muffle or enhance the sound or water lapping around the edges of a lake. The creatures that live in the lake – ducks, loons, fish – complement the lake’s soundtrack as they float and flutter on the surface and dive into the water’s depth. Humans who play on the lake – swimming, paddling, boating – enhance the water’s meditative nature and ramp up the decibels with revving motors and playful laughter.  

Listening like a lake reminds me of what happens through contemplative prayer. This practice invites the pray-er to be quiet and to listen. The ability to listen is heightened or muffled by the nature of thoughts that flow through the mind. Many people think that to be “successful” at this meditative form of prayer one must quiet the mind. The truth is that the mind resists most attempts to shut it down. Thoughts continue to flow and ripple like the waters in a lake. When an enticing thought jumps like a fish breaking the surface of silence we are tempted to pursue the thought like a fisherman eager to reel in a big catch. Letting the thought return to the deep, we refocus our praying, until the next wave of thought attracts our attention.

Listening like a lake also describes the type of prayerful listening that occurs within a spiritual guidance relationship. Listening is the currency of spiritual companionship. Listening with ears, eyes and heart, a spiritual guide takes in the whole environment of a person’s life – those things on the surface and other things bubbling deep within. Nothing is off limits. We talk about health, relationships, dreams, questions, doubts, and hopes. No matter the topic, though, the listening and the responding always returns to this core question: Where is God in this situation?  

Prayerful listening – unlike social conversation or information gathering – is the art of listening from our divine nature. Spiritual companions prepare to listen by becoming silent and still. Just as an observer sitting by the lake can better see, hear, and feel the landscape by being still, listening from silence and through silence allows us to better hear and respond to the person in front of us. 

Often, in conversation, we listen to respond. We also listen through the filter of our own experience. An example of this happened to me recently when I was meeting on Zoom with a spiritual direction client. She said something and I hurried to respond, sure that I had a valuable insight to offer. After I had stopped speaking, my client said, “Linda, please repeat what you said. Our connection broke up and I couldn’t hear you clearly.” 

I smiled, and said, “Never mind. It wasn’t that important.” I took our poor connection as a sign that my speaking was less important than my listening. The Holy Spirit had garbled the transmission to remind me to listen, like a lake.

Prayerful listening is a practice that requires humility, self-restraint, and patience. These qualities help us acquire the attributes of a lake – depth, presence, flexibility, flow – whether we are listening to God in prayer or praying as we listen to others.